So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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