Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
