Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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