Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize