oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
