I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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