Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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