i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
