jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
