Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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