there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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