oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
