Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
