Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
