singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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