that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
