I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
