Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
