WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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