You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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