i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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