My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
