one two three fourrrrnication!
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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