just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
