Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
smell my finger.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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