so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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