Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
