does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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