i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.