i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"