Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.