So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom