trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?