The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.