I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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