They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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