I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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