In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
