Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Two words: blizzard sex
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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