She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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