whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
