Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
