You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
