dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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