Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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