Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize