2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you inspire me to be a worse person
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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