Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
