We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
