do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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