I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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