so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
