Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize