party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
