sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
