He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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