Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
someone threw a dead crab at me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
