party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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