he shaved USA in his pubs
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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