ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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