She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
