this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
