the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
