I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You need Xanax blowdarts
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
