conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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