yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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