i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
