I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
