I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
