I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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