They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
