We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
